Last e-zine’s focus was on self love as the ultimate relationship and how important self care is in demonstrating our worthiness and love for ourselves.

Following on that concept and the theme of love, let’s examine the stress that often happens in relationships, whether they are significant love relationships, as in marriage and partnerships or relationships with family members, co-workers, employers or friends.

The most common problem I hear from my clients regarding stress in their relationships is: they are not speaking up for themselves.

I call this not having a voice or not using your voice.

And the solution is: Finding your voice and speaking your voice.

Do any of these sound familiar?

I don’t want to “make waves”

Oh, it’s not that big of a deal (when really it is bugging you!)

I’m tired of taking care of everyone else

When do I get to be taken care of?

I don’t want to be a burden to anyone

I’m afraid what they’ll think of me (if I speak up for myself)

I feel guilty if I say no

I feel bad if I don’t help.

I just want to stay out of the radar.

If you’ve found yourself saying any of these types of statements to yourself regularly, you are likely feeling resentful, guilty, burned out or generally “out of sorts”.

Feeling “out of sorts” promotes more negative self talk. Negative self talk perpetuates more negative “out of sorts” feelings. Negative feelings cause distress. Distress is stressful.

If you are not speaking up for yourself, telling “your truth” or communicating in a healthy and authentic manner with others in your life, you are not having a voice in your relationships. Not having a voice causes stress.

Below are some tips for finding and speaking your voice and reducing stress in your relationships.

Give yourself some “quiet time”.

Even 10 minutes of simply sitting down and bringing your attention to your breathing can allow you to connect within.

Connecting within, allows you to know what it is you need.

Giving yourself some “connecting in” time tells your subconscious mind that you are worthy.

Giving yourself quiet time is giving a voice for your needs.

Imagine yourself as you want to be: mentally rehearse:

See and hear yourself using your voice in situations in a relationship where in the past you did not use your voice and that caused you distress

Imagine the scenario in all the details. Who is there, what you will say, how you are feeling (empowered, strong, confident) and how you will say it so you are being heard.

 This detail is important, as you imagine and rehearse, as you want to create an opening for being heard.

Attacking or being defensive will only cause you to feel more distress, as well as alienate you from whom you are in relationship with.

The key is to be “enrolling” in your conversation, which means speaking from your authentic self, not the ego self that wants to be “right”.

Start with baby steps

If you are always doing the shopping, cooking the meals, cleaning the dishes and working at your business or a job, yet still feel guilty asking your husband, significant other or even children to take on some of the chores, then start off slowly. Take baby steps.

Determine for yourself (with quiet time) the one chore you can request of someone else.

You will begin to cultivate your voice with this one step.

As you keep practicing, step by step, you will keep building the muscle of your voice.

As you build that voice “muscle”, you will feel more aligned with your authentic self.

As you feel more aligned with your authentic self, you naturally feel better.

As you feel better, you naturally feel less stress in your relationships.

It all comes back to caring enough about YOU to create healthy boundaries, to speak from your authentic self to get your needs taken care of and to stop the cycle of denying your voice.

Use your voice, release stress in your relationships and be connected to your own special love songs with that beautiful and empowered voice.

If this is an area you’d like more support with, I’d love to support you in having a strong and powerful voice that will keep you engaged in finding more joy and less stress in all your relationships, especially the one with yourself.

Let me know your thoughts on this article. I’m all ears. Speak your voice (via typing!). Leave your comments below!

I had such fun, that I can barely contain myself when I talk about it! The fun-ness (if there is such a word) keeps exuding out of me!  Yes, that’s me in the purple, dancing with a little 3 year old person, who we can’t see!

I was blessed with many friends and family who were physically there and those who were not able to attend, but who were there in spirit, having a good time along with me. The food was great, the environment just right and the DJ was a kick! He got everyone out there, engaged and moving!

What was evident to me is that when we’re having fun like that, it’s absolutely contagious! I could see how people’s faces were lit up with joy while dancing or even just watching or having conversations. Fun and good times were “in the air” and one could not help but feel it. Talk about a stress reliever! Wow!

Stress, fun and enjoyment just can’t occupy the same space that’s for sure.

So, if you’re looking for an easy way to get some stress relief, try doing something that’s absolutely fun to you-no should’s involved-make it something that is really fun and you’ll discover, like I did, just how wonderful it feels and how contagious it is to those around you!

I believe I just created a new paradigm for myself for the next decade (and of course beyond…but I’ll start here) and that is:

Having fun is the key to staying engaged, alive and a quick way to relieve stress in life!

Would love to hear how YOU have fun to get those stressful thoughts and feelings out of your mind and body!

Leave your comments below.

As we focus on treating ourselves with love and respect, we naturally feel more love and kindness to others.

Positive self talk promotes health and well being.

 It allows our hearts to be open to love: click here to learn more

 What a better way to know love than when we take good care of ourselves! As you care for your physical health, you tell yourself you are embracing and loving life.  What a gift that is and what healing that can bring.

Self Love Series: 101 Loving Yourself Inspirational Quotes

I know you’ve heard about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, but did you know self care, can help keep stress away?

It’s true. And it really is quite simple. Ignore your own needs, desires and wants and you are bound to feel agitated, frustrated and probably even resentful.  

Feeling agitated or frustrated and/or resentful usually means the thoughts you are thinking are focused on what is not working in your life or what is wrong. Any of these thoughts sound familiar:

 ”This job is so demanding”, “I feel like I’m always working, there’s no time to have any fun”, “if I’m not working at the office, it seems like I’m always working at home”, “there’s no time for exercise, there’s too much to do”, “there’s no time for planning healthy foods, there’s too many other things I have to do”.

The list could go on and on. The point is, when you ignore taking care of own needs, you will find yourself being bombarded with negative thoughts, which lead to negative feelings and emotions. This tends to keep the cycle perpetuating with more negative thoughts, more distress, and more emotional upsets.  

So, when you attend to your own needs, such as giving yourself some downtime, asking for support on the home front or at work, making activity and healthy foods a priority, as well as getting out and having some fun, you reduce your stress thoughts significantly. You are taking care of you. You are saying you count. You are giving voice to your own needs and declaring your love for you!  

It’s not egotistical, it’s a necessity, if you want to feel less stressed, more calm and connected to your own innate joy.  It’s the Ultimate relationship! 

Feeling love for yourself and therefore naturally engaging in conscious self care, is essential for your heart health, too. Stressful thoughts that arise from ignoring one’s own needs, produce those negative stress hormones that have a negative impact on your cardiovascular system. Blood vessels become more rigid, blood flow is more restricted and the heart rate is usually accelerated. This is all in conflict with a healthy heart.

February is the American Heart Association’s

“Go  Red For Women” month, their logo for heart care for women. Unfortunately, women, the ever giving caregivers, are giving their hearts over to this dis-ease, much too frequently, as they forgo their own needs for the needs of others.

It’s ok to care for others, just as it’s healthy and wonderful to love others, but let the caring first start with you.  

You will be so more available to others, but in an easier way, you’ll have less of those “stress thoughts” that cause those distressful feelings and you’ll feel more love in your life.  Your other relationships will prosper.

 t all starts with you loving and caring for you. So, give your heart the love it deserves…give yourself permission to love you, take good care of you and your needs, so you can enjoy your life and be doing what you love to do!

Love is in the air-it’s February!

Breathe it in and give yourself a boost of those feel good hormones: endorphins.

Your heart and soul will love it!

Read: Caring for Your Heart Today

Please go to my blog page on my website and share your thoughts

I so appreciate you and thank you for being a part of my community. I look forward to continuing to support you in having the healthiest and best life you desire.

Naturally, all of these various types of love relationships are significant, but one of the most significant love relationship, is self love. Be sure to read on Self Love: the Ultimate Relationship. As a Stress Relief Specialist, I can tell you this is an area that generates a lot of stress for many people.

Talking about the relationship with oneself…I’m happy to say, on February 6th, I entered a new decade! Turning 60 is quite a milestone for me. I’m sure there must be a mistake, because, really I only feel about 40, maybe 45! So, I decided to celebrate this magnificent turn of my life with a dance party. I love dancing, always have. Danced at parties in my teens, went out dancing in my twenties and thirties and kept dancing at home to music that makes my feet and body move as part of my activities to keep my body healthy.

So, on Saturday, February 11th, I’ll be dancing to music of the 60′s, 70′s & 80′s with friends and family right along with me. It’s my way of taking good care of me…of loving me…by making sure I’m doing something I love and with people I love! I’d love for you to join in, wherever you are, and allow your spirit to move your body to some music you love. I promise, if you let go and go for it, it will feel good, bring on lots of endorphins (those feel good hormones) and get you connected to YOU and all who you really are. When you are connected to YOU, you naturally feel love.

Wishing you loads of love this month….and every month after,

Would love to hear all about your relationship with you.  Put your comments in below!

The word stress all on its own can mean many things.  It has its origins in the sciences of physics and mechan

Stress in itself is neutral.  It is an event, something that happens which takes us out of the natural state of homeostasis in mind, body and emotions.  Homeostasis simply means harmony.  Our minds, our bodies and our emotions seek harmony, and anything that disrupts that harmony is a stress.

It becomes a negative to our physical and emotional well being due to our perception of the event.  It is then that we become distressed.

We feel distress if something is in conflict with our beliefs, is threatening us physically or emotionally, or is perceived to be out of our control.

We create stress through our thinking.  Our negative thinking causes us to feel distressed.

Feeling distressed, or stressed, doesn’t feel good.  Feeling less than par, can result in poor judgement, feelings of overwhelm, needing to be defensive, looking for answers in all the wrong places and so much more.

In fact, studies have shown, people lose healthy perspectives when dealing with chronic stress, in whatever form.

There are many forms of stress people chronically deal with.  Do any of these ring a bell?

• being a woman in the corporate world 
• being a working mother
• being a woman getting ready to have a baby 
• being a new mother/parent 
• working in a hostile environment  
• being in a negative significant relationship 
• feeling overwhelmed with too much to do 
• being a caretaker of elderly parents
• being a stepparent
• being unemployed
• coming back to civilian life after being in war  
• trying to get pregnant after so many years of putting it off
• feeling unhappy with your body
• unable to find the time to exercise
• unable to find the time to take care of yourself
• health issues sapping your energy and enjoyment of life

The list could go on and on.   

I’d love to hear your response to this article, as well as what stresses you deal with and some ways that have helped you.

I think, for me, it’s moving so rapidly because I am completely engaged in the process of creating. And… I’m loving it!  You know how it goes, when you are totally absorbed in something, the time just disappears.  Well, that’s been happening for me.  Not in the way it disappears when I’ve looked at too many emails or chased after one too many “shiny objects” on the internet, no, this is more of a higher energy, one that has me feeling excited with anticipation of what I can keep allowing into my life type.  It’s light and it’s fulfilling.  The time that has already gone by feels good, not like “oh my…didn’t get that done yet”.

Of course, I’ve had those experiences of time, but I’ve been learning along this journey that the more I am present to what is, and the more I keep holding my “vision” and its feeling in my heart, the less likely I am to feel heavy with stressful thoughts, regrets, and feelings of I haven’t done enough.

So, with all that prelude, I bet you’re wondering just what it is I’ve been up to in this creative process.  Well here goes: Drum roll, please!

Healing Hypnotherapy’s new laser focus is now on being a Stress Relief Specialist.

What is a Stress Relief Specialist and how will that benefit you?  How it will benefit you and the life you want is the most important aspect of what I’m now focusing in on.

Read “Benefits to You” to learn more.

How we perceive our world relates directly to the thoughts we think.  If the thoughts we think are negative, they will cause stress or distress. It’s when we get relief from these stressful thoughts that we connect in with our innate wisdom, our inner healer, our inner knowingness and solutions are found.

I’ve worked with many clients who began to release their excess weight after they began to get relief from their stressful thoughts.

I’ve worked with clients whose health issues got resolved faster because they were able to get relief from their habitual, usually self defeating, way of thinking and instead find healthier ways to resolve their health problems.

Almost every smoker I’ve worked with had used cigarettes to relieve their stress in one way or another.

When I teach HypnoBirthing® to my moms/couples, the biggest issue they are usually dealing with is fear…fear of childbirth, fear of pain, fear of medical intervention.  Where does that fear come from? The thoughts that are going on in the mind.  Yes, of course there is the origin of that fear….where did it start to begin with, but the main issue, is that the fear causes stress.  Stress causes tension, tension causes pain.  The work is on getting de-stressed, giving moms/couples more positive expectations of birth to allow for their bodies to relax and work more effectively.

Letting go of stress, stressful thoughts and stressful feelings is a huge part of the process.  Finding new empowering thoughts and feelings and keeping them active is how we empower our lives.

This is what I’m up to in 2012!

Each month, I will be bringing you more articles about different types of stress with tips/solutions for you to use.

I’m so excited to be newly focused in my business of hypnotherapy.  I love how effective hypnotherapy is in showing each individual what the solutions are for them.

Let’s get some dialogue going on this topic.  I want to hear what you are thinking.  And, if you have anything to share with others about your process using hypnotherapy to relieve those dis-empowering stressful thoughts, please share them.  You will be contributing to the greater whole.

Please share your thoughts on the comment box below.

I so appreciate you and thank you for being a part of my community. I look forward to continuing to support you in having the healthiest and best life you desire.

I want you to be able to access these free gifts now.

Simply click on the link below and you’ll find hundreds of free downloadable gifts to support you in taking the next step along your path of health and well being.

Self Improvement Gifts 6 Giveaway

There are all kinds (680+) “self improvement” gifts, so browse through and you’re sure to discover something (s) that’s right for you.  I know I did!

As a first time contributor to this event, I’m excited to be part of this dynamic group of people who have so much to offer. If you scroll along the pages, you’ll see my free giveaway in there, too.

In case you’ve never downloaded the audio

“Minutes to Relief, Restoration and Calmness”, here’s your chance.

This event ends soon, so don’t miss out on all those special free gifts you can get.

Keep me posted, would love to hear what you downloaded!

A quick reminder: Healing Hypnotherapy’s New Year’s Special of 20% off any package of 3 or more sessions ends at the end of this month.

Get a head start on your 2012 by getting the support you need by using your powerful inner mind.
Remember: Change your mind and you change your life!

I do phone and in-person sessions, so register for the free

“Breakthrough the Challenge of Change”

and we’ll talk to see what’s best for you right now.

Here’s to making 2012 your best year yet!